Knotts Scary Farm 2019




This place is one I cannot get enough of. Maybe because it was the first Haunt I had ever attended. It only took thirty years to get there. Once I saw the fog billowing out of the trees behind the "Knott's Berry Farm" sign on Beach Blvd I was obsessed. The first maze I entered that first night was "Lockdown" a prison break out maze that had Ministry's NWO blaring while escaped and bloodied up inmates popped out from behind really convincing bars. I can pass on other Haunts if reality intervenes. But, when it comes to Knott's Scary Farm I simply cannot.


Let me tell you, this year, the Granddaddy of Haunts has produced it's best horrors yet! In April, I was given a list of options when my Knott's Berry Farm pass was purchased. All Dining Option, "Yes". Drink Pass, "Yes". Parking, "Yes". Knott's Scary Farm add-on, "Wait, what? Hell Yes!" It was decided right then we, my Hub and weirdly tall blonde friend, would attend the first night Knott's Scary Farm opened. Then, I was fortunate to get tickets to the 2019 reveal and three weeks later, I was at the gate. Instantly, the fog began to rise, Sarah Marshall warned us of our fates and the horde of Knott's Scary Farm fans cheered and marched into the park. It felt good to be home.


We started the night at the new Wax Works maze. While in the fast moving line, the roar of Ghost Rider added to the anticipation of what was set to be a fantastic night. Another perk of Knott's Scary Farm is you can ride the coasters in the dark! I didn't though, the night was consumed with "let's get to the next maze" fever. A bit silly being pass holders. The plan was to get through the new mazes, Paranormal Inc., explore the Scare Zones and then save the rest of the mazes and shows for the rest of the season. Whew, it's was a great plan because I choose to wear my Doc's and my feet were dying. Even after a Boysenberry Beer.




But, the discomfort was bearable and I could have gone another hour. It was midnight, the park closed at 1am. However, even my cold, black heart had enough compassion to get home as The Hub had to work. Besides, I knew I'd be getting back to the fog within the next day or so. Every night the Haunt takes place, in fact. Did I mention I can go, not pay for parking, eat and drink (fountain drinks not beer) without taking out my money? All for less than the cost of a pass to a very popular not-so-scary amusement park. Still love that one at Halloweentime though. I had to throw that in there. It's an abusive relationship.

I was able to go back to the scares on Saturday, two days after the opening. I was not discouraged by the long parking lines. It was lovely taking that moment to watch the multitude of people walking into the park. While I live Halloween everyday of my life, it was nice seeing the Haunt bringing out seasonal Halloween folks. I must not have had my glasses on or I was in another realm because, the giant crowd was majority teens and young adults who just became drinking age. I felt the negative vibe when I went for a photo opp and was cut off by three young gals, wearing the same shorts and cropped tees, flashing devil horns and Brazilian-blow-out quality hair. I didn't want to judge, but intuition is intuition. I headed to Origins, the best maze, period, to meet up with Vlogger and Haunt expert ScardieCat Vasquez and his ghoul Veronica. But, nature called. On the way to the Lew The Hub and I witnessed a few groups of teens verbally abusing and actually physically reacting to the scare actors. Some where caught by security, most were not. It infuriated me to see these dedicated and talented monsters get treated so badly. And It was only night three. Can we teach our kids, other ways to impress the opposite sex? And if you know you have violent reactions to jump scares, don't go to a Haunt to work out your issues. Get some fucking help!




In the end, The Hub, ScardieCatV and Veronica and I met in the fogged out Ghost Town and chatted all things horror while the monsters did their duties of scaring and sliding around us, despite the bullshit. My witch hat is off to you all! The fog, the intricate details put into the mazes and scare actors is flawless. It feels real. The screams the monsters pull out of the park goers is the essence of Halloween. While I will be attending other haunts this season, my black heart goes out Knott's. I hope to see you in the fog.


Knott's Scary Farm runs from now until November 2.