We Live Halloween All Year. We Just Go Bat-Shit Crazy In July!


At the time of writing this blog, Friday, July 23rd, marks 100 days until Halloween. Time speeds way the fuck up at this point. It happens every year. The construct of time even has a way of bending and making it seem like I am in a swirling orange and black portal speeding through August and September. October itself truly begins and ends with a blink of a heavily lashed eye. July is usually the most miserable month of any year for those like us, but in recent years the 100 day countdown has grown in popularity and excitement. Again, it’s all thanks to influencers like @halloweenhappy, correct use of social media and the fact that we Halloweeniers spend a lot of cash on really dumb shit. Like, 12-ft skeletons that barely fit in our yards. So, worth it, though! I am that bitch who runs out of Spirit with a large animatronic under her arm, laughing manically and shouting how stupid this purchase was, but make no mistake-I have no regrets!